Graduation

Today, I graduated. Well, sort of. I went to the ceremony at least, donned the Carolina blue cap and gown, went to the Communications Studies Department Commencement, took pictures in front of the Old Well. The works. It was sort of off putting though. For one thing, I'm not officially done with "School" until August. For another, Carolina treats graduation very differently than did my high school. At Grimsley, if we so much as made a peep, the administration would pull us out of the graduation line and we wouldn't graduate. Simple as that. Today however, I saw a girl dressed in a Carolina blue bikini, a squad of students carrying foam swimming pool noodles, pink flamingo balloons, and more. The general graduation procedure seemed this ambiguous thing that no one had a complete grasp of and no one really cared about to begin with. Even Chancellor Thorpe seemed a little off his game. Like I said, off putting. Honestly, it didn't really feel like graduating.

Also, it was kind of sad that I wasn't there with all of my friends, my closest friends who've been with me since I first arrived at Carolina. This feeling was relieved somewhat by seeing my friends who are natural born '09ers, and even more so that I got to graduate with Liz. But it was still strange knowing that I won't be there when the sea of blue is populated by faces so familiar to me that they're almost family.

That's not to say that today wasn't a happy occasion. It was. I enjoyed it and I enjoyed being with my family and sharing that moment with them. I enjoyed sharing it with Liz. It was certainly a moment of triumph. Just a moment somewhat divorced from the feelings I know should exist in collaboration with it. I just didn't feel like I was graduating.

I think all of this really boils down to the knowledge that I'm leaving, and the expectation of life in North Carolina coming to a close. It seems like I'm at a point of waiting, and this waiting tends to water down the exuberance of my days remaining in Chapel Hill and North Carolina. But I'm not really satisfied to leave it like that. I want my last two weeks here to be bold and full of life and adventure. That's my goal for my life and for those around me. If I can inject some boldness and adventure into the lives of others, then I think my last moments on the east coast will be a success.